Don visits from NY

Image 1. Don showed up from NY and used me as a pillow!

Image 2. I'm still acting as a pillow!

Image 3. Don finds the real pillow!
 

I learn to drive before dad does!

Img 1 -2: Here you have me in my first driving lessons. I think that at this rate I'll get my Licence before dad does (slacker).

Img 3: A little bit of congestion on the road caused this little outburst, not so much road rage as genuine frustration. Don't they know that they should give way to the left or what?

 

Images from the stroller

Img 1: Professor Snape makes it ot Newtown.

Img 2: Girl band that sounded a little like 'the slits' playing in Newtown outside of the hub.

Img 3: More of the crusty newtown thing.

Img 4: Check out the couple outside of the chemist! Of course I am sure that it istotally innocent and that they were in fact engaged in rubbing feet and not fellatio!


 

A couple of visitors and some views from the stroller

Img 1: The Zounis Family invade my playland!

Img 2: Me posing for the next edition of playbub!

Img 3: So true!

Img 4: These are the monsters that cannot be resisted!

 

A tale my Dad wrote about bathing me the other night!

Oscar is almost crawling now so that's a pretty fun thing. Tonight he managed to crap on me and he also puked on me for good measure, I love him, he's so like me!

I admit it wasn't as straight up as Oscar just poo'd all over me. Our neighbors have gone to Fiji to experience a coup first hand (which is weird cos they are both in marketing and they took their 6 month old son as well) and told us that if we wanted to we could let ourselves in and use the bath at their house (We only have a shower and to use it you have to stand in the toilet, its so f***ing cramped).

So we take advantage of this very generous offer and there we are in the bath, thinking f**k this is great, like in a hotel or whatever. Me, Fiona and Oscar making happy noises, splish, splash and suddenly there are these cute little bubbles and I'm like "That wasn't me, that was Oscar" and Fiona is like totally eyeballing me as a heartless bastard blaming a little lad like that and suddenly I'm like "hope he didn't follow through".

So we had a look and there wasn't anything, and we breathed a sigh of relief. Then Fiona got out of the bath and it all went swirling past me like f**king jaws, yuck! BOMP BOMP BOMP BOMP.

Fortunately from my time in Scotland living with "fat bastard charlie (1)" I know to just squish it all down the plug hole and think of England. So I squishes it but then I shift a little and this totally massive and somewhat flattened coffee bomb flats past. Some how I'd sat on it... So I squished that down the plughole as well and then had a shower.

(1) I lived with Fat bastard Charlie in Glasgow back in the early 90's. He wasa mad assed artist who made these collages and montages which were pretty cool. Unfortunatly for me Fat bastard charlie was so fat that he couldn't fit his ass on a toilet seat. He couldn't reach his asshole to wipe either.

Because of this disability of his he used to crap in the shower every morning and often he would attempt to squish it down the plug hole unduccesfully. Unsuccessfully because he couldn't see it below all the protruding flabber, and would often leave a choco surprise for me. He was such a fat f**k that he couldn't fit into overalls but had to cut them down the sides, then he had to safety pin them back together. So theres me, trying to have a (normally cold) shower (in the middle of Glasgow winter) with a f**king chowder under foot, every morning! 

Me, Mum and Dad doing art!

Img 1: This is the opening preview of the new paintings of Michael Fitzjames. Dad thinks that they are quite brilliant (but subtle and perhaps a little inaccessable).

Img 2: Mum smiling at me with one of Michaels paintings in the background!

Img 3: Me and Mum getting in the frame so that dad can get Michael on film in front of one of his paintings!

Img 4: And again!

 

I Gifted Pudding and Dumpling an excellent read

Img 1 My dedication for Pudding and Dumpling of this most excellent book!

Img 2: This is me writing the dedication

Img 3: It was hard work but here I'm celebrating that I finished the dedication. I'm only 7 months old and reading and writing is pretty hard for me, everything is so new! 

Me and dad nudie bum portraits!

Img 1: Me and Dad giving mum a funny look!

Img 2: Mum Farted but dad missed it!

Img 3: dads hiding behind me! Yes that is my nudie bum. This picture is dedicated to the Queen!

"I'd like to drop my trousers at the queen, every sensible child will know what I mean"

Img 4: me and Dad being silly for Mum!


 

A few odd shots

Img 1: More of me and Nana...

Img 2: Freedom!

Img 3: My first self portrait!

Img 4: Me and dad, he's turning into a flabby bastard. We are doing the nudie bottom thing before I have a bath...
 

Me and Nana

Img 1 & 2: Nana kept blowing rasberries on me. It was 's kinda fun. I really do love her, shes so weird and crazy but in a good way with me

Img 3 & 4: Where theres a camera theres a reason to dance!

 

The view from my whitetrash trailer (really the view is from my stroller but ir soundsmore dramatic that way)

 

Party in my nappies! Its not water in my bottle!

Img 1. Visited by the two of the Jong Sisters, I brace myself for the orgy of nappie and bathtime delights.

Img 2. Me on the bottle again. This time I'm drinking Vodka on the rocks (but not really on the rocks cos I don't like ice) shaken, not stirred!

Img 3. Me telling them that it was special and that they really don't have to go. Sigh!